I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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