you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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