I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
