Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
