I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
