we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
