I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Bring me that man meat
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
