Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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