You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
