Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
