I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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