Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
