Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
