the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize