like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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