I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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