ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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