Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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