thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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