24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize