He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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