He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
