I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i've created a new STD.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
