Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
