The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
