You can't motorboat a personality
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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