This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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