I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
