just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
