So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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