babies were throwing up all over the place
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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