Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
