So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
