Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
