Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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