i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize