just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
