Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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