She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
