I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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