The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
