nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
