I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
