toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
