we're blogging at a bar
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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