DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
