You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
