i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dear god my vagina.
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