I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i out mim tonsoeep
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