the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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