Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
