This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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