she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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