I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
