Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
