so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Houston, we have a blender
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
