I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize