SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
