Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
